It's a Sunday afternoon.  The Family Home is mostly empty, thanks to a Family Day sponsored by Tae's parents' place of work.  Tae and the LIAC have the place to themselves.

Tae (wandering into the dining room with a box in her hands):  Ne, minna, want to play a game?

Tasuki (eyeing the grill outside with longing):  Games are for kids.

Tae (shooting Tasuki an annoyed look):  You sound like a Trix commercial.  And this game is most definitely not a kiddie game.  It's about taking over the world.

Tamahome (turning away from the stock page of the paper):  Taking over the world?

Tae (opening the box and spreading the board out on the table):  Yeah... each of us gets some territory and some armies, and we have to try and outwit our opponents to conquer the world.  (Winking at Tamahome behind Tasuki's back:)  Tasuki probably doesn't want to play because he knows I'm better at strategy than he is.

Tasuki (instantly incensed):  Naaaani?  (He stalks over to the table and sits down with an emphatic thunk.)  Gimme some of those game pieces -- I'll show you strategy!

Tamahome, Kenshin and Japoro also join them at the table, and Tae begins explaining the game.

Tae: Here, Kenshin... you be red.

Kenshin (agreeable but curious):  Doushite de gozaru?

Tae (mumbling):  'Cause it matches your hair.

Tamahome and Tasuki roll their eyes as if to say "o...kay..."  Tasuki gets the yellow pieces (they have something in common with flame), Tamahome the black (as in "profitable") and Japoro is blue.  Tae begins happily counting out purple pieces, mumbling something about Purple People Eaters.  The men all look at her like she's crazy... and inch away a little, especially when she starts laughing about taking over the world.

The game progresses normally up until Tasuki's turn... at which point he chooses to attack Japoro for no readily apparent reason.

Tae (trying to help an obviously inexperienced player):  Tasuki... you're not ready to take over the world yet.  Right now, you just need a card... and attacking Japoro isn't the best way to get it.  (Mumbling under her breath:) If you can get one at all.

Tasuki (shaking his head and pointing fiercely at the board):  I want to attack Japoro in Irkutsk.  (Taking his turn to mumble:)  Teach him to bite me...

Kenshin (sweatdropping):  Ano... Tasuki-kun, I don't think personal bias is a good reason to attack Japoro-kun.

Tasuki:  Will everyone leave me alone!!  I know what I'm doing!

Throwing their hands up in defeat, the rest of the gamers subside.  Tasuki proceeds to attack Japoro... and lose every army but one.  No card.

Tae (as Tasuki sits back in a huff):  We told you not to do it.

Tasuki:  Oh... shutup.

Kenshin's turn is next, and he wisely attacks an easy win, obtains his card, and yields to Tae.  He sighs as she proceeds to pile armies into Africa.  Either she's preparing to attack him in South America... or she's arming against attack.

Kenshin:  Tae-dono, why are you so suspicious?

Tae (looking first at the pile of armies in Brazil and then at him):  No reason.  Why are you so worried?

Kenshin (smiling an innocent smile -- one that's almost a twin to Tae's):  No reason.

Tae:  Umm-hmmm.  (Still smiling brightly, she turns to Tasuki.)  Okay, Tasuki... I'm afraid you're going to have to leave the Congo.

Two turns later Tae has control of all of Africa, and Kenshin of South America.  Japoro has ousted everyone from Australia, and Tamahome has taken possession of all of Europe and much of North America.  Poor Tasuki has scattered himself around Asia... and things do not bode well for him.

Tae (arguing with Tasuki about another move):  No, Tasuki!  You need a card!  Don't attack Japoro over there in Siam... he's got ten armies to your 4!  Attack me over here in Ural... or Japoro down there in India where the odds are more in your favor.

Tasuki (stubbornly):  Siam.

Tae (sitting back and shaking her head):  You'll see.

After a few more turns Tae gets a set... and promptly wipes Tasuki out.  He stares at the board in shock, then turns a wounded expression on her.

Tae (defensively):  I kept telling you not to do what you were doing, and you wouldn't listen!

Tasuki opens his mouth to protest, but out of the corner of his eye he catches Tamahome and Japoro exchanging cash.

Tasuki:  Oi!!!  What are you two doing?  (His eyes narrow in angry suspicion.)

Tamahome (sighing, returning the angry glare with one of annoyance):  I didn't think you'd lose until you'd had a set, but Japoro said you'd lose the first time someone else got a set.  (Smiling ruefully at Japoro:)  I'm going to have to borrow that back in order to feed Miaka on our next date.

The game has had its first casualty.  Things are serious now.  Play progresses in rapid but considered moves.  The sets rack up, the armies pour out of their little plastic boxes.  Kenshin turns in a set worth 45 armies... and takes Tamahome out of the game.

Kenshin (typically apologetic):  Sumanu de gozaru, Tamaho... oro?

Tamahome and Japoro are exchanging funds again... and it looks like Tamahome has won the larger pot.

Tamahome (waving Kenshin's apology away and grinning as he counts his money):  Daijoubu, Kenshin.  Japoro said you were too nice to play to win, and I told him he didn't know what he was talking about.  The odds he gave me were fantastic!  I can afford to buy Miaka dessert!

Kenshin:  Ororoooo...

Japoro, Tae, and Kenshin focus on the board.  Armies move, dice are thrown.  Slowly, Japoro tries to creep out of Australia and into Asia.  Tae moves into Europe.  Kenshin controls the Americas.  Observing how Kenshin is positioning himself, Tae takes a gamble and clears Japoro out of Asia -- in taking over the continent he spread himself too thin, making it an easy victory.  Boxing him back into Australia, she waits until her next turn to finish him off... gaining another set with his cards.

Tae (as Japoro hops down from the table):  Good game, Japoro-kun!

Japoro (preening his whiskers in much the same manner as a man might his mustache):  Thank you, Tae-chan!  It's been a challenge... I think the hard part's about to begin, though.

Kenshin (innocently puzzled):  Sessha?

Tae and Japoro nod agreement, and Kenshin shakes his head in embarrassment, denying that he's any sort of strategist.  Meanwhile, Tasuki is still sitting -- pouting -- next to Tamahome.

Tasuki (grouchily):  I can't believe I was beaten before the weasel.

Tamahome:  Say that again, I don't think he heard you.

Tasuki:  Shutup... ghostie.

Tae interrupts the havoc that ensues with a well-swung chair.

Tae:  Cut that out!!  You'll mess up the board!

Tasuki & Tamahome (fighting concussions):  Hai hai!!

The room is very tense.  Kenshin and Tae both move with great care, neither gaining nor losing much ground.  Finally it comes down to a matter of sets:  both players have one, but Kenshin gets to turn his in first.  Will it be enough to take Tae out of the game?  Or will trying spread him so thin that she can take him out?

Kenshin (eyes glowing faintly amber):  It's worth 75 armies.

Tae (feigning indifference):  Be sure to put a few here, there and everywhere.

She swallows as he dumps them all in Europe in preparation for sweeping down through Africa, around through Australia, and back through Asia.

Tae (to herself, clenching the dice tightly):  You had better roll really well, Tae-chan.

After all the tension, Kenshin's actual attack is something of a let down, thanks to a repeat performance of his Cursed Dice (tm).  (These featured largely in the first few turns of the game, mainly rolling ones, twos and the occasional three.)

Kenshin (groaning, eyes still glowing amber):  4-3-1.

Tae:  6-4.  You lose two.

Kenshin:  5-1-1.

Tae:  5-3.  You lose two.

Kenshin:  6-2-1.

Tae:  6-1.  One and one.

Kenshin (glaring at the dice as if to put the fear of Battousai in them):  4-2-2.

Tae:  5-4.  You lose two.

Tamahome, Japoro, and Tasuki snicker quietly as Kenshin proceeds to conquer no more than seven countries before he's forced to stop due to lack of men.  The countries nearest Tae's holdings are a wasteland of single armies.

Tae (turning in her set and eyeing Kenshin for additional signs of Battousai):  It's worth 80.

Kenshin (growling, his voice 100% Battousai):  Play.

Tae (unnerved by both the voice and his amber eyes):  Hai, hai!  (thinking:)  Never had anyone order me to beat them at Risk!

Promising herself that she won't ever again court disaster by beating the Battousai at Risk, Tae methodically sweeps Kenshin's red armies from the board.

Tae (placing the last piece in the box):  Gomen nasai, Kenshin!  Demo...

Kenshin (putting the lid on the box, smiling brightly):  Arigatou, Tae-dono!  We should play again sometime... it was a lot of fun!

Tae (falling over in shock at the sudden return of her rurouni house guest):  Orororoo!

Tasuki (to Tamahome):  Wasn't he the Amber Eyed Devil a minute ago?

Tamahome:  Nah... must've been your imagination.  It's just a game, ne?  (To self:  His eyes looked pretty demonic to me...)

Kenshin (to inner Battousai):  Honestly!  It's a game.  A game!

Battousai (pouting in the corner):  I know!

Kenshin (puzzled, blinking):  Then what was the problem?

Battousai (even more annoyed at the stupidity of that question):  I wanted to win!

Kenshin: ...

Battousai (pouting again):  Come on!  I didn't have much of a childhood, give me a break.

Kenshin:  ... A...no...?

Tae (shaking him lightly by the shoulder):  Kenshin?  What's wrong?

Kenshin (snapping back to the real world):  Sumanu, Tae-dono!  I was just having a discussion with my inner-child... telling him to behave.  (He smiles cheerfully at her.)

Tae (thinking:)  I believe anime characters are living with me.  I have no room to sneer at his delusions.  (Aloud:)  That's... nice...

Battousai (folding arms across chest huffily):  Inner child... oh, ha-ha.  I'll remember that the next time you need help.

Kenshin (sighing, taking the box to put it away):  Yare yare...

Sekihara Tae
tae@sekihara.dreamhost.com
September 1, 1999